Once Upon a Hogwarts
by snoopykid
Summary: Ok so this is entirly random and a crack fic. Emma is bored at home and watches a Harry Potter movie and starts to wonder since fairytale characters are real is Hogwarts real too. Thus begins her mission to find out the truth. T for language and insanity.
1. Chapter 1

No idea where this is headed, but it would not leave me alone. Total random/crack fic so don't like it…don't read it.

**Once Upon a Hogwarts**

Emma was so bored. Never did she use to feel bored when she was home alone, but now being a family and with it so quiet in the apartment she was just…bored. James and Snow had taken Henry horseback riding while she had work at the station, but with it being so quiet she decided to come home for the rest of the afternoon. So taking a deep sigh she sat on the couch and started to flip through the channels until she came across a movie…Harry Potter and Sorcerer's Stone.

Shrugging her shoulders she decided to watch the movie. As she watched the movie she found it odd; she had read the book and never even gave one thought about the main character until now. There were similarities between the eleven year old boy and herself, she too thought she was an orphan and was raised by crappy people.

She too was then thrown into a world she thought was a myth…and yet she turned out to be a hero just like the boy. Even now she just admitted to herself that she kind of wished there was a place just like Hogwarts. Then she could make her troubles magically disappear. Then it hit her! Why the hell not?! Fairytales are real after all right?!

"Hey," She jumped just as Harry, Ron, and Hermione started to go down the trapdoor and Fluffy was just waking up.

Turning she saw Henry, Snow, and James staring at her oddly; "What? Can't a person watch TV?" she asked.

Snow coughed, "Well you could, but isn't that a little close to the set?"

Emma looked at her mother and then where she was sitting…how did she get down on the floor? When did that happen? Getting up she sat on the couch as Henry sat down next to her, "What are you watching anyway?" He asked looking at his mother.

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." Emma responded still watching the movie intently.

"The Who and the What?" Henry asked not understanding.

Emma nearly dropped the remote, "Oh my god seriously?!" She was in total disbelief.

"What? I never heard of this movie…" Henry stated now fully surprised.

James and Snow appeared back in the living room, "What is happening?"

"Your grandchild never heard of Harry Potter!" Emma exclaimed pointing at the TV where Harry was now facing off with Voldemort, "Even I know this movie!"

James and Snow looked at each other in shock and confusion. Never had they seen Emma so passionate about something…much less a movie which seemed to be about magic, "Emma sweetie we never heard of Harry Potter either." Snow said gently.

"Seriously?! You too?!" Emma exclaimed.

"How much Hot Chocolate did you drink?" James asked going over to his daughter and then he placed a hand on her forehead, "You feeling ok?"

Emma swatted his hand away, "I feel fine and it was only about five cups or so, but you mean to tell me that you never heard of Harry Potter or Hogwarts in your world?"

"No we never heard of any boy named Harry Potter and what is Hogwarts?" Snow asked eyeing Emma weirdly.

Emma's jaw dropped. No, it could not be…turning to Henry she asked, "Please tell me Hogwarts is in your book."

Henry shook his head, "Nope never read about it. Mom what is going on?"

"Oh come on! Are you kidding me?!" Emma started pacing, "Fairytale characters are real! Mary Shelly's Frankenstein is real! You have heard of him! But you are sitting here telling me that you never heard of a magical castle called Hogwarts?"

Henry, Snow, and James turned back to the TV just as some guy in a costume started to give what he called house points to the students, "Emma I am sorry, but this does not look real." James said.

"Yea mom, this totally looks fake," Henry said sadly looking at his mother.

"What? No! Come on Snow freaking White and Prince freaking Charming are real! Hell I am the Savior which I never believed, but they are real and I am real!" Emma said pacing, "How can you sit there and say that this is not real?"

The three looked at one another and each had the same question in their minds: what the heck? "Emma it is called Hollywood." Snow stated, "Now come sit down and we can talk-"

"No!" Emma yelled as she ran to grab her keys, "I am going to find Hogwarts."

"But Emma it is not-" James started to say as Emma slammed the door, "Ok what just happened?" Snow and Henry shrugged their shoulders having not a clue.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok so really impressed with the response to this crazy story. So I guess I shall be continuing it for now. Anyway yea…so tally ho!

**Once Upon a Hogwarts**

Henry, Snow, and James sat in front of a computer, "Here it is!" Henry exclaimed pointing to the screen.

"This is just wow," James commented as he read the article.

Snow nodded reading over his shoulder, "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is a British wizard boarding school teaching the magical arts, located in Scotland." Snow stepped away, "Emma really thinks that this is real?"

"What the heck happened to our skeptic daughter?" James sighed getting up and going over to his wife.

Henry sat back down and found another page, "Hey this is about that Harry Potter guy!"

Snow and James went back over and read the synopsis of this person that Emma was crazy in finding. Snow began to frown when it was read that the character was orphaned and James's brow scrunched up as he read about the prophecy the boy had to fulfill. Even Henry could not believe the stuff that Harry had gone through since he was eleven, "Is it just me or does this sound like-?" James started to ask.

"Do not finish that question." Snow ordered her husband.

"So how do we find Mom?" Henry asked his grandparents.

Before any of them could answer the phone rang in the kitchen and Henry jumped to go answer it, "Hello?"

"Henry its Paige…"

Henry smiled slightly and then frowned when he heard the uneasiness in his friend's voice, 'What's wrong?"

"This may sound odd, but your mom is here in the park and she looks pretty upset with my dad." Paige stated, "Did he do something wrong?"

"No, but thank you for letting me know and we will be right there." Henry said quickly and before giving Paige another chance to speak he hung up, "Come on we have to get to the park!" He said quickly rushing out the door with his frazzled grandparents behind him.

Once they got to the park they found Paige by the swings. Henry went up to her and asked, "Where are they?'

She pointed to a secluded area of the park, "They have been arguing like that for like ten minutes." She said, "What did Papa do to make her mad?"

Snow and James were debating on going over there when Henry answered, "This is now going to sound weird, but my Mom wants to find a place called Hogwarts."

Paige looked at him surprised, "Really? That is cool!"

"What you know about this place?" James asked turning to the girl taking his eyes off of Jefferson and Emma.

"Yea! The Harry Potter books are awesome! That would be really cool if the castle was real!" Paige sighed.

"Wait what?" Henry asked really confused.

Paige looked at him like he was crazy, "You mean to tell me that you read all the time and you never read the books?"

"Hey I read the fairytale book." He said holding up his hands in surrender.

"You need to broaden your horizons," Paige told him as Jefferson was storming toward them.

"Hey don't you walk away from me!" Emma called out jogging behind him, "You are the Mad Hatter! Just give me your damn hat!"

The two kids and the two adults looked shocked at how red Jefferson's face became at the mention of the name. Turning sharply he faced Emma, "Ok first of all I never agreed to go by that name. Second of all even if I had my hat, I would not help you. Third of all with that said, I do not even have me hat anyway!"

"What?!" Emma yelled in disbelief, "What the hell do you mean you do not have your hat? What happened to the one that you forced me to make after you held myself and my mother hostage?!"

"Your grandfather, King George, destroyed it apparently," Jefferson said smugly.

James elbowed Snow, "What did she just say about you two being held hostage?"

"We were cursed." Snow answered not wanting to go into it.

Emma looked at the man in front of her. He was wearing a triumphant grin, "Well make me another one."

"That would be a no. I am done with that."

"I swear to god I will sparta kick your ass out a window, like my mother did, if you do not make me a damn hat for this."

"What happened?" Henry and Paige asked upon hearing this threat from Emma.

Snow turned red since the attention was fully on her from the two kids and James, "Uhm…nothing happened."

"Snow…" James said looking at her.

Snow was not paying attention as Jefferson continued walking away from her, "I am not going to make you a hat. Find your own way of going to Hogwarts!"

"Fine! You know what I do not even know why I came to you anyway you bloody git!" Emma then stormed away leaving Jefferson, Paige, Henry, Snow, and James staring after her, "I will find some else with magical transportation!"

Jefferson looked at Snow and James and said, "Your daughter is crazy! She came here and demanded that I give her my hat so she could go to Hogwarts," He shook his head, "What the hell is Hogwarts anyway?"

Paige sighed and before they could answer she started to get her father away from them, "Come on Papa I will explain it to you. Good Luck Henry!" She called.

Henry waved as Paige led her father away from them and he turned back to James and Snow, "I guess where would she go now?" He asked.

They looked at each other and Snow sighed, "Something tells me she would go see Hook. He still has his ship here right?"

"Come on." James sighed and together they walked to the docks.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok so I just got a PM about someone removing me from their alerts and whatever…just to be clear: I go through phases like everyone else does. So I could careless as to what you guys do. I write for 75% myself and 25% for you guys too. And quiet honestly do what you want.

I know I have stories that I have not updated since '09 possibly longer, but that is because things in my life comes up like everyone else or something else I am interested in exploring appears. But just thought to get that out there and vent a bit. Now on to my new installment!

**Once Upon a Hogwarts**

Emma made her way on the Jolly Roger, "Hook!"

Hearing his Swan's voice, Hook exited his cabin and saw the blonde pacing his deck. Smirking he called out to her, "Ahoy there lass. To what do I-"

"Cut the crap! How many realms have you been to?" She asked quickly.

Hook could tell that something was not right with his blonde. She looked crazed and almost desperate, "Many why?"

"Good! I need you to take me to Hogwarts!" Emma said with excitement and a smile forming.

Killian looked at her and indeed something was not right. Emma would never smile at him, nor would she ever come to him for something…besides she was talking nonsense, "Are you ok love?"

Emma was now frustrated. First her parents and son, then Jefferson, and now Hook too? Could she not get a break today? "I am fine! I just need you to take this ship out to sea and do whatever you did to get here, but just go to Hogwarts."

"Love you are talking nonsense. First of all there is no magic bean to take me anywhere; and second of all what the bloody hell is a 'Hogwarts'?" Hook asked really confused.

Emma groaned, "I do not even know how to explain the awesomeness of Hogwarts. Just know that it is a magical castle that Harry Potter saved and it is awesome. Now take me there."

"I can't. I am literally stuck here. I have no crew to sail my ship and I never heard of a castle described like that or a bloke named Harry Potter."

"You never heard of Harry Potter?" Emma asked surprised, "You have been to a lot of realms and never once heard of Harry Potter?"

Hook thought for a moment, this was just really odd of her. She actually looked like she was about to cry. Apparently he was taking too long to answer because she started to storm off the ship, "Hey wait! I think I did hear of this bloke!"

Emma spun around, "You have?"

He nodded after giving some thought he did hear this guy's name mentioned, "I think I may have heard Regina talking about this Hogwarts or something or other and this Harry Potter lad of yours in your drug storm a few days back. You could talk to her to see if she can help you."

Emma groaned and started to walk off the ship, "I would rather fight a Hungarian Horntail than talk to her." Hook watched her leave and shook his head. Surly his day could not get any weirder right?

It was had to have been about forty-five minutes later when he heard new voices on his ship. Growling in frustration about not getting peace and quiet he opens the cabin door to see Snow White and Prince James talking and a young boy, Henry, he presumed pacing, "Ah I seem to be popular today. Let me guess," Once he had their attention he started again, "You want to get to Hogwarts too right?"

Henry stepped forward and held out his hand, "Captain Hook sir it is an honor to meet you! I am Henry!"

Hook smiled and shook the boy's hand, "I figured. Your mother talked about you when we were climbing the beanstalk."

"Awesome!" Henry cheered forgetting about why they were on the Jolly Roger to begin with, "So what was it like-"

"We really need to find Emma. Has she been here?" James asked placing a firm hand on Henry's shoulder.

Hook nodded, "Aye, your daughter did come here. She was asking me about getting to Hogwarts. But I turned her down since I never heard of the place."

"Did she say where she was going next?" Snow asked stepping forward.

Hook shrugged, "Not really. After I suggested to her to talk to Regina, she made a comment about fighting some kind of creature…a 'Hungarian Horntail' or something and left."

"You suggested she talk to Regina?!" James yelled, "What the hell were you thinking?!"

Hook held up his hand and hook in surrender, "Hey I heard her talking the other day in the drug store about this bloke named Harry Potter and this place called Hogwarts. I figured at least give the lass a bone as to what she needed," Hook sighed putting his hand down, "I cannot take women's tears."

"My mom was crying about this?" Henry asked in disbelief.

"She was close to it lad." Hook stated solemnly.

Just then in the distance there was a loud explosion. Heads turned to see jets of reds and oranges coming from the distance, "Is that coming from where I think it is coming from?" James asked worried.

"I would say so." Snow answered.

They started to run off the ship leaving Hook standing there confused and annoyed, "Well thank you Hook for your help," He said in a high pitched voice, "You are most welcome your highness." He said back in his normal voice. Shaking his head he went back into his cabin thinking about the day he would soon leave this blasted world.


	4. Chapter 4

**Once Upon a Hogwarts**

As Snow, David, and Henry ran off the Jolly Roger they continued to try and find were the jets of light were coming from, "You don't think it is coming from Regina's house do you?" David asked praying that it wasn't.

"Oh I hope not!" Snow yelled.

"Guys wait up!" Henry called trying to catch up to his grandparents. They stopped and looked as he came running up to them, "Thanks." He sighed out.

Snow and David looked at each other and David said, "Henry I think you should go home."

"What? No way! I am not-"

"You're Majesties!" Their heads turned Mother Superior coming toward them, her face distraught and worried.

"Blue?" Snow asked concerned, "What is it?"

"Two of our prototype wands have been stolen." She said quickly, "One minute your daughter was talking to us and we kind of ignored her rambling because we were busy and when we turn back around they were missing!"

Snow, David, and Henry's jaws dropped. Henry was the first to recover, "Wait a minute…you think my mom stole the wands?"

Mother Superior nodded, "Yes, but you must understand, these are prototypes. They have not even been tested yet! Who knows what could happen? We have to find-"

There was a loud explosion in the distance, "Well come on. We think we know where she is at." Snow said and once again they took off running.

Reaching the former Mayor's house they jumped out of the way just as a jet of red light came in their direction, "Is that the best you could do you stupid snake?!" Emma called out.

"Well you are running away…not at all Gryffindor like." Regina called back.

"Team Gryffindor!" Emma yelled, "Expelliarmus!"

Regina dodged and countered, "Stupefy!"

"Protego!" Emma yelled as a shield projected itself around her and the spell bounced off.

The three on lookers hid themselves behind Regina's car, "Ok what is going on?" Mother Superior asked, "I never heard of these spells."

"We think it has something to do with this place called Hogwarts." Snow said slowly as they stayed out of sight.

"Oh dear," Mother Superior groaned as another jet of light flew over their heads.

Just then Emma shouted, "Reducto!"

Regina dodged and watched as her apple tree blew up, "No! My tree!" Letting out a growl Regina turned her wand on Emma, "Sectumsempra!"

Emma ducked out of the way as the spell hit her yellow bug. Snow, David, Henry, and Blue gasped in horror at the slashed up car. Emma was astounded, "My car! Dude really?! That spell would have killed me!"

"Yea because blowing me up would not do the same thing?" Regina glared at Emma.

"You really are a snake," Emma stated as she once again raised her wand, but then stopped, "wait a minute…we should not be dueling."

Regina lowered her guard slightly, "What are you saying Swan?"

"I am saying that we both have a common goal…we should be working together…" Emma trailed off holding out her hand, "Well?"

Regina eyed the hand then eyed Emma. Throwing her hands up in the air she said, "Stupid noble Gryffindor. Fine. Deal. Whatever."

They shook hands. Snow couldn't take it anymore, "What the hell is going on?!"

The duo turned to find Snow approaching followed by Henry, David, and Blue, "We are going to join forces and find Hogwarts!" Emma stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Those wands are dangerous…look what happened!" Blue said as she motioned to Regina's yard.

Regina coughed, "I was planning on doing a yard makeover anyway."

"Regina you cannot be buying-" David was cut off by said Queen.

"Do not tell me I am crazy! Besides if this was a sham or not real then why did the spells work?" Regina snapped back. Then she sighed and regained her composure, "Besides I have been reading these books since the curse broke and I would like to go to Hogwarts."

"Why?" Henry asked worried about this idea.

"Why? Well for starters to get away from here. Like seriously being trapped in the same town and doing the same thing for twenty-eight years gets a bit tiring." Regina stated, "I was sick of it after the first week."

"Now if we are done here, we have some planning to do." Emma stated turning back to Regina, "Any suggestions?"

"Gold is out of the question…" Regina stated ignoring the on lookers, "Hook?"

"Tried and failed as well as the Hatter." Emma said as she glared at the direction of the Jolly Roger.

"We could apparate." Regina stated.

"Noooo…." Emma droned out, "We cannot apparate in and out of Hogwarts. Did you not read Hogwarts A History?"

Regina laughed, like actually laughed which everyone's reaction was: 0.o'? "You are telling me that you actually read it?" Regina gasped out and began walking away from Emma.

"Well duh! Who hasn't?!" Emma asked chasing after her.

"I am sorry I am more of a Quidditch person." Regina stated.

"I would kick your ass." Emma scoffed.

"Would not."

"Would too."

They continued to bicker as Snow, David, Henry, and Blue watched them, "Grams…" Henry managed to get out.

"Yes?" Snow answered.

"I am scared." Henry stated as he watched his mothers argue out of sight.

"Us too." David and Blue commented.

"Yea," Snow stated, "Me too."


End file.
